Non veg jokes

सेक्स करने के बाद पप्पू बड़े शान सेअपनी प्रेमिका को बोला
पप्पू: "जानेमन अब आपको वो होगा जिसेदुनिया बच्चा कहती है"
लड़की हँसते हुए: "हाहाहा साले, अब तुझे भी वो होगा जिसे दुनिया एड्स कहती है"


बंता अपने दोस्त संता से सेक्स के बारे में बात करते हुए बोला.
बंता: "जगह न मिलने की वजह से लोग सेक्स नहीं कर पाते"
संता: "हाँ एक बार मेरे साथ भी ऐसा हीहुआ था"
बंता: "फिर?"
संता: "फिर क्या लड़की ने बताया की जगह टांगो के बीच में है"

  
Santa ki sadi hui suhag rat ke waqt wo apni biwi ko piche se karne laga

Biwi-suniye ji aage se karte hai.

Santa-tumhe kaise pata.

Biwi-jab me colledge me thi mujhe gunde utha kar le gaye the unho ne aage se kiya tha.

Santa-sale ye gunde bahut confuse karte hai jab mujhe le gaye the to piche se kiya tha........... 


Wife in court: Ye muje bahot chodta h, maine es k sath nhi rhna
JUDG 2 Hsb: Kitni baar ?
Hsb: Raat ko sone se phle
adhi raat ko
subah chai se phle
chai p k
brkfst se phle
brkfast k baad
office jane se phle
dopahr office se aa k
lunch krke
sham ko office se aa k
fir chai p k
dinner se phle & dinner krne k baad..
Judge : Itni baar chod k tu bor ni hota ?

Husbd: Ji jab bor hota hu tab muth maar leta hu.



Ek Aadmi Ke Lund Ke Chaaro Taraf Ek Laal Rang Ka Ghera Ban Gaya Tha.

Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Wo Doctor Ke Paas Gaya, Aur Nishaan Dikhaya.

Doctor: “Koi Baat Nahi Ye Cream Lagao Agar Na Theek Hua To Dubara Dikha Lena”

Kuch Din Baad Wahi Aadmi Phir Se Aa Gaya Aur Bola.

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab Ye To Theek Hi Nahi Ho Raha Koi Achhi Si Dawa Do”

Doctor: “Koi Baat Nahi Ye Doosari Cream Lagao, Theek Ho Jayega”

3 Din Baad Vo Fir Se Vaapis Aa Gaya

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab, Please Kuch Ilaaz Karo Iska, Main Bahut Pareshaan Hun”

Doctor: “Hmm, Ye Lo Nayi Cream, Special America Se Aayi Hai, Ab Pakka Theek Ho Jayega”

Thode Din Baad Fir Wahi Aadmi Rota Hua Doctor Ke Pass Aaya

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab, Ye To Ab Bhi Theek Nahi Hua”

Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Use Ek Lotion Diya Aur Bola

Doctor: “Lo Is Baar Isko Laga Kar Dekho”

Agle Din Hi Wo Aadmi Khushi Se Naachta Hua Doctor Ke Pass Aaya

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab Kamaal Ho Gaya Ye To Theek Ho Gaya, Is Baar Kon Si Dawa Di Thi”

Doctor: “Kuch Nahi Is Baar Lipstick Remover Diya Tha“

Adult Poem :-

- Mohini aao khelenge
nahi aap hamari le lenge
-are yahi to pyar ki kasutii hai
nahi, meri bahut choti hai
-dekh tere liye es dil me kitta pyar bhara hai
nhi mujhe pta hai aapka bahut bada hai
-dekh ye tera husn nikhar dega
ji nhi ye meri GAND bhi phad dega
  

Wife naha k nikli to santa use ghoorne laga.
Wife(in romantic mood):Aaj kya irada hai?
Santa ne kheech k thappad mara aur bola-Kamini mere gram pani se q nahai?

Gud mor .....♥

Saadi k 30 saal baad Pati-Patni apna 2nd Honeymoon manane ka plan karte hain
Patni:- Hum log phir wahi ghoomne chalenge, jaha-2 1st honeymoon me gaye the.
Pati:- Lekin is baar meri baari hai raat me kehne k liye ki.....
"YE TO BAHUT BADA HAI"...

 Ek Aadmi Bra Ki Shop Mein Gaya.

Usne Ek Darjan Ek Hi Color Ki Bra Khareedi Aur Ghar Aa Kar Apni Biwi Ko Di.

Biwi Ek Hi Rang Ki Bra Dekh Kar Gusse Se Boli

Biwi: “Tum Pagal Ho Kya, Ek Darjan Vo Bhi Ek Hi Rang Ki Bra Kyu Khareedi, Log Samjhenge Ke Main Bra Change Nahi Karti”

Husband Muskurate Hue: “Kaun Log?“









Ek Aadmi Bazaar Mein Jor-Jor Se Chilla Raha Tha: “Jannat Ka Parda 20 Rupaye Mein – Jannat Ka Parda 20 Rupaye Mein”

Saare Bazaar Ke Log Apna-Apna Kaam Chhod Kar Uske Paas Gaye,

Paas Jakar Dekha To, Haramkhor Panty Bech Raha Tha.......


Ladkiyon Ke Liye Baba Sexydas Ji Ki Ek Nek Salah:

Sex Karte Samaye Condom Jaroor Use Kare Kyunki

Condom – Rs.5

I-Pill – Rs.120

Moral: Save Money And Save Future (Kanya Hit Me Jaari)

Ek Bhikhari Signal Pe Bhikh Mang Raha Tha,

Tabi Ek Car Mein Se Ek Khubsoorat Aurat Ne Use Bhikh Di,

Bhikh Leke Bhikhari Aage Jane Laga, To Aurat Ne Kaha.

Aurat: “Arey Kuch Dua To Do Mene Tumhe 10 Ruapye Ka Not Diya Hai?”

Bhikhari: “Car Mein To Beithi Hai Ab Kya Land Pe Bethne Ki Dua Doon“



Hamara Dost Anuj Ek Baar Kisi Kaam Se Doosre Shahar Jaa Raha Tha

Raste Mein Peshaab Aaya To Apni Bike Ko Sadak Ke Kinare Rok Kar Ek Ped Ke Niche Peshaab Karne Lag Gaya

Ped Par Ek Bandar Betha Tha, Usne Anuj Ki Nakal Karte Hue Peshaab Karna Shuru Kar Diya Jo Sidha Anuj Ke Upar Aakar Gira

Ye Dekh Kar Anuj Ko Gussa Aa Gaya, Usne Fir Apna Lund Hilana Shuru Kar Diya

Bandar Ne Bhi Dekha Dekhi Nakal Kari Aur Vo Bhi Apni Lulli Pakad Ke Hilaane Laga

Anuj Ne Ye Dekha Aur Mutthi Maarni Shuru Kar Di, Bandar Ne Bhi Uske Samne Muthi Marni Shuru Kar Di

Ab Anuj Ka Gussa Saatve Asmaan Pe Jaa Pahuncha, Usne Jeb Mein Se Blade Nikala Aur Apna Lund Kaat Diya Aur Dekhne Laga Ki Bandar Kya Karta Hai.

Tab Bandar Ped Pe Taaliya Bajane Laga Aur Uchalne Laga Aur Bola: “Chutiya Banaya – Chutiya Banaya“.



Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Ek Param Bhakat Nilesh Badi Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Unke Pass Gaya Aur Ek Prashn Puchha

Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Ye Mardana Kamzori Kya Hoti Hai?”

Baba Ji: “Bachha, Agar Tumhare Khawab Mein Koi Ladki Aaye Aur Waha Bhi Uski Izzat Bach Jaye, To Ise Mardana Kamzori Kehte Hai“